Thank you Danny Ainge... Now go away...

Dear Mr. Ainge,

Thanks, ever so much, for putting together a championship caliber basketball team. Now please... step away from the trade book... put the phone down and nobody gets traded.

Please. PLEASE. Puh-LEEEEEZZE... I beg you... Retire. Now. Today. Don't wait for the end of the season. Do it now. It's for the best. Red Auerbach isn't walking through that door...

I mean, hey, it's great that you got KG and Ray Allen... it really really is... but did you hafta go through 48 players in 5 years to do it? That's THREE separate rosters!!! And what a roller coaster! We barely had time to get to know the subtle whimsy of Tom Gugliotta before Antoine Walker breezed (back) into town. And then *poof* he was gone. Again. What Danny giveth, Danny taketh away... And thanks for the comic relief too... Dan Dickau? Seriously? So you can see, I hope, the fear that hangs over Celtic nation. The constant, gnawing, bone-crushing anxiety of living with the fear that that Danny Ain't is going to continue is long string of turnovers and sloppy fouls.

So. OK. We really really like this roster. Can we keep it? Can you, like, not listen to that itchy trade finger of yours and lay off the turnovers? umkay? All the kids in Detroit get to keep their rosters for, um, like, ever...

So thanks Danny, for all the basketball love. Now hang it up, pleeeze...